Home inspections are never boring, but sometimes they get downright ridiculous. Over the years, I’ve had my fair share of surprises—from heart-stopping moments to full-on comedy scenes. Here’s a look at some of the wildest things that have happened to me on the job.
1. The Dog That Almost Gave Me a Heart Attack
Walking into an empty house, I rounded a corner and saw a dog sitting perfectly still, staring at me. My first thought? Oh no, someone left their pet behind! My second thought? Why isn’t it moving? Turns out, it was a very lifelike stuffed dog just casually placed in the middle of the room. Thanks to whoever decided to give me an early-onset heart condition that day.
2. The Surprise Antlers Over the Attic Pull-Downs
Nothing says “unexpected” like grabbing an attic pull-down cord and coming face-to-face with a mounted deer head. Antlers were inches from my face, and I’m pretty sure my soul briefly left my body. I don’t know who thought that was a good storage spot, but I’d like to have a word with them.
3. The Bear in the Garage
I’ve seen my fair share of taxidermy, but nothing quite prepared me for walking into a dark garage and coming eye-to-eye with a giant stuffed bear. For a split second, I thought my career (and possibly my life) was over. Turns out, it was just a very lifelike—and very large—hunting trophy. After I recovered from the initial shock, I had to take a picture for proof.
4. The Mouse in the Attic
I was inspecting a vacant home one day—a definite fixer-upper. I started opening the attic stairs when I noticed tiny poop on the insulation. I pulled the stairs completely down and out drops a mouse to the floor. I screamed bloody murder. I really, really hate mice. The mouse darted away and I spent the rest of the inspection tiptoeing around trying to find it—but not really wanting to at the same time.
5. My First Encounter with Camel Crickets
One of the first crawlspaces I ever inspected brought me face-to-face with a bug I had never seen before. The sellers were home, so I let them know I’d be out of their hair soon. I rounded a corner in the crawlspace and found an entire wall filled with camel crickets. If you don’t know what they are, please Google that now (but maybe not while eating). I screamed—again. The best part? When I came back inside, the seller casually said, “I hear you found the camel crickets.” Um, excuse me, why didn’t you WARN ME?!
6. Other Humans
I often get completely in my own head and hyper-focused when I’m inspecting. I’ve jumped out of my skin when my termite guy rounds a corner, when a seller I know is home walks down the hallway, or when my own client shows up early. My overreacting antics are usually good for a laugh, and honestly, I consider it a benefit—nothing like a jump scare to get the blood pumping.
Final Thoughts
Home inspections aren’t just about checking for structural issues—they’re about survival, quick reflexes, and sometimes, sheer luck. Whether it’s dodging taxidermy surprises, googling new insects, or practicing my hide-and-seek skills, every day in this job is an adventure. And honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way. Okay, that might be a lie—slightly less adventurous would probably be okay.
Until next time, keep your home maintained and your inspection stress-free.
- Your Fave Female Inspector